The Adventures of the Fab Four - Continued

flockmaster
Some things work, some things don’t. It really is that simple. Life is getting to me lately, not because it is ridiculously hard, but because it is going good. You know when things start to go your way but you know something bad is just around the corner? I had the exact feeling and it was driving me mad.
University was working out okay, so far I am passing everything and don’t have anything to big to stress over. This gives me more time to work and earn money, which gives me more money to spend when I go out with friends. Everything sounds like it should be keeping me happy, but for some reason the happiness I should be feeling is missing.
Indifference is such a painful thing. It’s like feeling nothing, being emotionally mute, having these things happen around you and feeling nothing towards them.
It seemed like even though things around me were going good, my life was nothing compared to everyone else’s. My life was a ritual of getting up and going to university, or even work, and then going to bed. Rinse and repeat. I couldn’t help but not feel fulfilled.
Yet all my friends seemed to be perfectly content, having everything they wanted go their way, making their dreams come true. My dreams were far from where I was in my life, but I was too small to make them happen. I am always to afraid to put myself on the line, to take the leap of faith and try it. I let my fear of failure and all my own insecurities stop me doing anything, instead I just stay in my comfort zone, which of late, doesn’t feel so comfortable.
If I wasn’t at uni or at work, I was online, pretending to be somewhere else and someone else. The second I signed on, a message from Moni flashed on my screen.
Moni says: Hello Miss Megan
Megan says: Hey MonMon
Megan says: How are you?
Moni says: Good my dear, and you?
Megan says: Yeah good too, tired, but good. Uni and work have me busy, it feels like I get no sleep.
Moni says: I get how you feel, I’m pretty tired too.
Megan says: That’s because it is like 1AM there!!!
Moni says: True, LOL.
Moni says: Have you heard from Bec lately?
Megan says: Not really, I mean I got a few rushed emails, but everything I hear is all about the band, I don’t know how she is going, she seems okay though, I guess. You?
Moni says: Yeah the same, I don’t know if I should be worrying or not you know? They are starting to blow up a little though, well, more than they were before, and it is scaring me how hard they are working. I don’t want her to burn out...
Megan says: Yeah I know. Although, I hope she’d ask for our help if she needed it.
Moni says: Yeah. Remember when we used to talk about her getting famous and all of us living in that house together, and her adopting all of us to make sure we could never be separated?
Moni says: Those were the good times. I miss those conversations they were so funny.
Megan says: Yeah me too.
Our conversation flowed into reminiscent ramblings that just seemed to make me feel worse. Looking back on when times were good always seemed to make me feel worse in times like these.

beani19
I think I might be falling in love again. I know it hasn’t been long since I broke up with my ex, but this guy just seems perfect. We get along great, he makes me laugh, and smile, and most of all, being around him makes me happy.
I seem to find myself constantly thinking about him, and we seem to be endlessly messaging each other. The heart can heal as quickly as it can break sometimes.
The only thing that was really getting to me these days was the fact that I felt so far away from everyone, and so much out of the loop. Moni and Megan were at least close enough to each other to almost be in the same time zone. I always feel like I get the news last, if at all.

searchingtheskies
You know that feeling you get before you fall asleep? That feeling of ultimate comfort and release?
I have forgotten what it feels like. It has been exactly 53 hours since I slept properly. The only reason I know this is because every time I try I just end up looking at the clock wishing the time away.
The bags under my eyes make me look like a zombie.
The caked on makeup to hide the bags make me feel self conscious.
The flash of the camera in front of me makes me want to vomit.
We were being featured in some music magazines and papers as local “up and comers” to the scene. It wasn’t like you’d imagine, pampering, makeup, all the star treatment. No, this was simple. Stand, smile, shoot. Nothing more, nothing less. They seemed to be so pressed for time that the interview was being conducted while we were being photographed. I guess it made for some awkward mouth open, eyes closed pictures.
I keep trying to tell myself that this is a journey and it will lead me to great places, but I feel so disconnected from myself. I keep questioning everything I do, like it is not really me doing them. I guess I could relate it to the euphoric daze of being high, or drunk, but knowing that I am stone cold sober.
I’ve never questioned my sanity more than I have in the last few months.
Sure, we are living our own dream, but at what cost?
We are cramped into this small van, we’re eating oxygen, we’re signing to a label I’ve never heard of, we have a small recording budget, it all doesn’t seem as glamorous as I thought it would be.
Being in the spotlight made me feel awkward, being on stage made me feel free. The stage was a place where I was completely myself, it was a place where I wasn’t afraid.

mywordsaremyfaith
I am sick of spending my weekends at home. I can’t help but feel my life is dull and boring. My friends were all out doing things. One of them was even about to start to record an album, a fucking record. What was I doing?
Shit all. I was sitting at home moping about my non-existent life.
I didn’t have a social life. I spent my weekends at home avoiding my mother, hiding out on the Internet. It was time I made some changes in my life. I needed to make some rash decision, do something spontaneous. I needed a change of scenery.
I wanted change and I would do anything to make it happen.

flockmaster
You know when you work in a customer service related industry that you’re going to have some shitty people to deal with. Sometimes it just gets too much though, and people will argue over anything if they think they are entitled to something. At the end of the day, all they do is make me feel like shit. It’s a cycle.
So of course, spending over 5 hours at work with people yelling at me for no reason had me in the most aggravated and upset mood ever. I almost felt like I needed a rock to crawl under.
I barely even felt like going online, but I knew that being online and talking to my girls would make me feel at least a little better.